This is so good, Michelle! The "old me" wanted to adhere to all the rules to be perceived as a godly person. I knew I couldn't earn God's love. It's automatic. But it seemed complying to rules helped earn the love of humans. On the other hand, because I'd been burned by the very religion that set up the rules, the "old me" also wanted to rebel and say, "you're not the boss of me!" Not to God. But to humans. The "new me" is concentrating on abiding. I don't always stay in that space because sometimes I slip back into the old me. But I love how focusing on God's presence in the moment with me is enough. Then the other things I used to strive to do have the opportunity to simply flow. A rhythm of worship that comes from the sap of the vine I'm connected to. I can't wait to read your new Bible study. It's in the top three position of my TBR stack! (Not just read it, but process the material and write out what I draw from the insights.)
It really does flow naturally instead of feeling like a regimen, doesn't it? And the focus on that relationship with Jesus can change from day to day. One day it's just being aware of his love. Another it's a reminder to express my devotion to him. I sense his presence more now than when I did a whole lot of planning and structuring.
I am about to buy the first Bible study book I have purchased in 20 years. Yours. 😌Thankful for you! 🙏
Oooh! I'm honored! May you be encouraged by the results of sorting out a lot of pondering about Scripture.
This is so good, Michelle! The "old me" wanted to adhere to all the rules to be perceived as a godly person. I knew I couldn't earn God's love. It's automatic. But it seemed complying to rules helped earn the love of humans. On the other hand, because I'd been burned by the very religion that set up the rules, the "old me" also wanted to rebel and say, "you're not the boss of me!" Not to God. But to humans. The "new me" is concentrating on abiding. I don't always stay in that space because sometimes I slip back into the old me. But I love how focusing on God's presence in the moment with me is enough. Then the other things I used to strive to do have the opportunity to simply flow. A rhythm of worship that comes from the sap of the vine I'm connected to. I can't wait to read your new Bible study. It's in the top three position of my TBR stack! (Not just read it, but process the material and write out what I draw from the insights.)
It really does flow naturally instead of feeling like a regimen, doesn't it? And the focus on that relationship with Jesus can change from day to day. One day it's just being aware of his love. Another it's a reminder to express my devotion to him. I sense his presence more now than when I did a whole lot of planning and structuring.
"Yes, I like a side of impostor syndrome with my gaslighting." Warms my therapist heart! ❤️
A therapist could have a real adventure with my brain. :-)