Empty Nest, Full Life
Encouragement for parents who are figuring out what's next. You still have a mission and purpose. This is your encore.
A few years ago, I had the opportunity to interview Jill Savage, author of Empty Nest, Full Life: Discovering God's Best for Your Next. She's such a powerful voice for other moms!
I appreciate Jill's perspective on the empty nest as the encore season of motherhood. She beautifully compares it to an encore at a show, where the best pieces are revisited and celebrated. This idea encourages mothers to embrace this new phase with joy, recognizing it as an opportunity to enjoy the fruits of their labor without the full responsibilities of parenting. It’s a reminder that even as children leave home, there is still immense value and purpose in this stage of life, filled with opportunities to share wisdom and pursue new passions.
Highlights from the discussion:
Letting Go of Expectations: Jill discussed the challenge of letting go of expectations, particularly regarding communication frequency with adult children and holiday traditions.
Holiday Flexibility: Jill emphasized the importance of being flexible with holiday traditions to prevent putting pressure on our children, encouraging us to give them the freedom to create their own holiday experiences.
Shifting Priorities: As children grow and form their own families, parents should prepare their hearts for the shift in priorities, recognizing that their children's new family should come first.
Guiding Teenagers: Jill advised parents of teenagers to step back from direct decision-making and instead guide their teens by asking questions, helping them develop decision-making skills. as they prepare for independence.
Releasing Children's Problems: Jill shared the necessity of lovingly detaching from adult children's problems, recognizing when our help isn't helping, and allowing them to struggle for their growth.
When our kids leave home, it can feel like a lot of letting go, but Jill reminds readers that there is a time to hold on, too. It comes from the verse in Ecclesiastes that says there is a season for everything, including both letting go and holding on.
Your New Mission Field
The empty nest journey is about knowing what to let go of and what to hold on to. One of those things to grab onto is your new mission field. Jill encourages us to look around and say, “Who still needs me?” This isn’t in our family, but around us. There are things you love about mothering, such as investing in a child’s life, that you could use outside of your family. What child needs an adoptive grandparent in your neighborhood? We still have wisdom to offer.
Maybe you still have a passion for something you never finished. Taking this up again might be your new mission. To anyone who thinks they have nothing to offer, Jill says, “Even if you have just survived, you’ve learned lessons along the way that others coming behind you really need to understand.”
Your Encore
This is why I love anything related to repurposed life. It shows us that there is still something valuable to share, even in a new season. Your life is just starting when your kids leave home.
This is our encore season. The curtain comes up, and it’s time to review the pieces of mothering we loved. We still get to sing that song—we still get to enjoy the grandkids—but we don’t have to sing the whole song—meaning, we don’t have to bring the kids home and tuck them into bed at night.
I’m savoring the encore.
Newly released: This Reimagined Empty Nest, a book to encourage you in your encore season.
