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April A. Swiger's avatar

Thank you so much for your words Michelle! After having breast cancer last year, and starting five years of hormone blockers as a result, I’ve been thrust into a menopausal body almost a decade early. There’s a lot that needs to be untangled in my own head about these things, and the faith connection is definitely one of them.

Michelle Rayburn's avatar

I can't even imagine what you're going through with the body changes and treatments. Plus all of the entanglements that go with the "oughts" and "shoulds."

April A. Swiger's avatar

Yup, that’s exactly right. And the feeling of weight gain being a moral failure is so common in certain faith spaces.

Jan VanderMeer's avatar

Thanks, Michelle. Since I was very skinny as a young person, I didn't worry about things then. But as I got older and gained more weight, it was a shaming thing. (I remember my mom at age 90 saying she shouldn't have another cracker with peanut butter because my dad didn't like her gaining weight! [I fixed her another cracker and said that at age 90 she could have whatever she wanted.] But I'm so sorry that she felt that way much of her long life. I'm happy to say that I am much more accepting of my body now.

Michelle Rayburn's avatar

Jan, your story about your mom is so familiar. From the time we were young, many of us were taught that someone else was in charge of what we were hungry for. I'm sad that so many people have spent their whole lives worrying about gaining weight. Good for you on your own journey of breaking the cycle!