To the Woman Trying on Clothing at TJ Maxx

A class reunion is an opportunity to take a step back and embrace our true value, not how we look.

Dear woman trying on clothing at TJ Maxx,

You are valuable. You matter. You’re beautiful. You don’t need to impress anyone. Just be yourself.

Based on the age of your thirteen-or-something-year-old son, who is quite the shopping helper, I’m assuming the class reunion you’ve spoken of to several people passing by might be your twentieth or twenty-fifth. Perhaps your blonde highlights fooled me and it’s your thirtieth? No. Not possible. Your panic-shopping gave off twenty-fifth-year vibes.

Everything about this shopping trip screams midlife crisis. As if the years keep ticking by, and now you’re about to face the people who made you believe fashion and figure established your worth. I wonder if they are also shopping as frantically for the right outfit that screams success, physical fitness, and something with a side of sexy.

You caught my attention when your son was giving fashion advice and said that stripes were out. You put that item back on the rack quickly. (I’m keeping the stripes in my closet, BTW.) He had other tips, articulated loudly and boldly. Your relationship is cute. My own two sons would never have been in TJ Maxx with me. Nor would they have carried numerous items back and forth from the racks to the dressing room. Yes, I heard that conversation too. I was in the next stall. He was invested. That’s super sweet.

Photo by Eric Prouzet on Unsplash

Midlife is hard. I know. But I have so many questions now. Who hurt you? Who made you feel this frantic about finding the right outfit for this occasion? Do you need a hug? Or am I misreading everything?

Listen, if someone at that party plans to judge you based on the outfit you chose for the occasion, they aren’t worth reabsorbing into your present life. They are the acquaintances of yesteryear who know nothing about what amazing things you have going on right now. Say hello, wish them well, and smile.

And if some ex-boyfriend from high school needs to know you’re still sexy. No, he doesn’t. YOU need to know your worth. Your Creator knew your body would change over time. He made you that way. No man—ex or current—determines your value.

Let’s not pretend I have it all together either. There was that time when I got a spray tan before my twenty-fifth class reunion so I could wear the dress that came above my knees. I’m kind of embarrassed about how bronzy I was. Eek. That was thirteen years ago. I’ve changed since then. I also got rid of that dress when, later that summer, a confused elderly man at a wedding asked me when my baby was due. My last “baby” was seventeen at the time.

I hope you found an outfit. When I left the fitting room, you were waiting for your son to bring a medium in the black pants. I headed to the checkout with my blouse—definitely much larger than a medium—but you stayed on my mind.

So, I’ll leave you with how I started.

You are valuable. You matter. You’re beautiful. You don’t need to impress anyone. Just be yourself.