A Dutch Word That Feels Like Home

A single Dutch word suddenly explains so much of what my midlife heart has been longing for.

It isn’t gesundheit. That’s German for “good health.” (Oft said after a sneeze.)

It isn’t gemytlig. That’s Swedish for “cozy,” or something like that.

The word that has me fascinated today is gezellig. (Prounounced heh-SELL-ich, with the I sounding more like an E, and the ich coming from your throat like a hissing cat. Like an H sound at the beginning and the end.)

This is the Dutch word for—

Well, there isn’t really a way of translating it. The word is more of a feeling or sense and not something you could photograph or capture.¹

It’s often used to describe a warm, cozy atmosphere, along with the pleasant sense of togetherness and friendliness you feel when spending time with others.

Photo by The Oregon State University Collections and Archives on Unsplash

Simpler Living

Several years ago, I became fond of the Danish and Norwegian word hygge (hoo-gah), which has a bit of a similar meaning.² In my midlife season, I’ve loved bringing a sense of a slower and simpler life focused on emotional well-being and cozy surroundings.

It led me to declutter my surroundings and add in pillows and fur blankets. Lamps instead of overhead lighting. Wax warmers and woodwick candles. I practice a slower pace on Sundays, where I can enjoy a book or a feel-good movie in the afternoon. Or I crack open my sketchbook. There is no obligation for an empty nester to hustle and hurry.

But the Dutch bring people into the meaning of their word. And being that I’m 100 percent Dutch, it made some parts of my upbringing make so much sense. Suddenly, a word was speaking my heart language.

Faith and Family Living

I’m the great-granddaughter of eight Dutch immigrants. Several of my grandparents still carried some of the lilt from how their parents (those great-grandparents) spoke in their second language of English. (Yes, my DNA results contain a ridiculous mix of combinations from both sides of my family. They go back to four regions, all in the Netherlands. Try sorting that one out!)

To this day, I can travel to any one of the popular areas in the US where Dutch immigrants settled in communities and play “Dutch bingo” to find common relatives and connections. There is a common culture too. And it truly centers around gezellig.

In my Dutch upbringing, faith and family were bound together into the fabric of everyday life. The foods, the flavors, sights, and sounds of home felt similar, no matter which relative I visited. The hymns, prayers, and unspoken rules aligned in households of cousins and relatives. The same hands that shaped bread dough into a dozen loaves each week folded into prayer at every meal. The same table that held coffee and almond cookies also held conversations about God, gratitude, and how to show up for one another. Dad or a grandpa cracked open Scripture after every meal as we listened and then bowed in closing prayer.

Christmas and holiday gatherings were loud, boisterous, and full of food. They were also full of an inexplicable sense of family connection. Gezellig began with the meal prep time, with the women bumping hips in the kitchen and the men smoking pipes and talking farming, and the children playing in the attic until dinner. Later, it appeared in the rounds of dominoes or UNO at the table, over abundant snacks.

Little ones fell asleep on laps as the grownups visited late into the evening. Stories of long ago, repeated often, just in case we might forget that “The Ten” stood for the acreage where the forebears settled.

Photo by The New York Public Library on Unsplash

Living and Belonging

That’s part of what makes gezellig more than coziness. It’s a picture of belonging shaped by generations who believed that warmth was something you practiced, not just something you felt. It wasn’t only candles on the table. It was the sense that God was present in the ordinary moments when people gathered, listened, and cared for one another.

As I move through midlife, that heritage feels like nostalgia, yes, but it also feels more like instruction. Where my introverted side craves quiet and solitude, I remind myself just how much it matters to gather our ever-enlarging family of children and grandchildren. Why it matters to include the great-grandparents in the mix. (I broke the mold and married outside of that Dutch bubble, so we’re adding flavors of our own with each generation.)

Faith, at this stage, has become quieter and steadier—less tied to programs or perfection, more rooted in presence. It calls me back to a life where home is a place where we model faith to the little ones who haven’t yet discovered how steadying its presence is for life.

Photo by Art Institute of Chicago on Unsplash

A Living Legacy

Gezellig can be a reminder that spiritual depth is often found in human moments—hospitality, shared meals, honest conversation, laughter echoing in a room where everyone feels safe.

In that sense, leaning into gezellig in midlife isn’t simply cultural. Although I sure do love that it’s part of my heritage. This is really a season of writing our stories. We’re growing a life shaped by love, welcome, rest, and joy, the very things my faith has always invited me to practice, even if I didn’t have a name for them back then.

The word gives language to something I treasure: the belief that the ordinary can be holy. Togetherness is its own kind of blessing, and faith shows up when we make time for connection with friends or family.

Midlife is the season to choose meaningful relationships over my temptation for isolated retreat.

It’s warm lights glowing in a house filled with voices.
A grandchild, climbing into my lap.
Setting the table for anyone who can gather. (Paper plates count too.)
Letting love linger a little longer.

Gezellig isn’t something I can define or explain.
But I know how it feels.

1. https://www.dutchamsterdam.nl/155-gezellig

2. https://mamainthenow.com/hygge-lifestyle/